Are you still waiting for an apology? To him, it seems as though it hardly deserves a mention. All you seem to get is a few vague excuses and a shrug of the shoulders. How can you forgive him for cheating, when it looks like he doesn’t think it matters?
You’re probably feeling insulted by your husbands apparent lack of remorse, and to add insult to injury, and you might also be feeling some the following:
- Puzzled why he just doesn’t seem to “get it” when it’s obvious to you.
- Angry that he can’t ask for forgiveness.
- At a dead end trying to figure out how you can move forward after your husband cheats.
At this time a heartfelt apology could have an enormous positive impact in your marriage. Let’s look at why your underlying feelings may be prompting your need to hear this apology, and also examine the idea of forgiveness, and help you understand why it is necessary.
- An Apology – What It Means To You
Before your husband apologizes for his affair it’s important to realize that there is a lot more going on below the surface than just hearing that apology.
You may need to hear his apology for these reasons:
- Acknowledgment of the pain your husband has caused.
- Recognition that he is responsible for the way you feel right now.
- An admission by your husband that he his solely responsible for ripping apart your marriage.
Because you have put such a heavy emphasis on his apology you may feel you are stuck in limbo waiting to move on until he requests forgiveness.
Some couples try to “move on” without the cheater expressing forgiveness, but usually without success.
The cheater should absolutely express remorse and beg forgiveness, but it doesn’t mean it will happen. What you can do is interpret the lack of apology and how affects your willingness to forgive.
It is your decision whether you should or should not forgive your spouse, but before you decide, here is an exercise in what forgiveness means.
- What is forgiveness?
What does it mean to you? Is it something you think you should do because it’s supposed to be the right thing?
- Visualize how you would react if he apologized.
What would it mean to you? Would it change everything? Would it make you feel better?
- What would happen if he never apologized?
Could you ever repair your marriage if he didn’t? What impact would it have on the repair process?
In this Survive An Affair program, discover why forgiveness might not be necessary at all, and why acceptance could be the key to coming to terms with your husbands affair.
I wish you the best in your efforts to repair your marriage.